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Monday, July 15, 2013

The Game of Thrones

By on 12:40 PM


Let's get one thing straight: Game of Thrones likes to finish its seasons with confidence, however not splashily. The show elicits most of its "oohs" and "ahhs" and also the "THEY DID WHAT?"s and "I'M aiming to KILL YOU St. George R.R. MARTIN!!!"s in its penultimate episodes, and spends its finales making ready you for what is ahead. however even knowing that moving into, the Season three finale, "Mhysa" lacked that single nod to fans to stay United States all happy between seasons. i do not comprehend you, however Dany crowdsurfing on a bunch of poor individuals did not hit Pine Tree State within the same manner that a military of White Walkers or a unadorned girl coated in ash and dragons did in Seasons two and one, severally.
Those who were longing for some Stark payback when the tragedies of the Red Wedding got little of it, as a result of neither we have a tendency to nor the show's characters have suffered enough, apparently. In fact, within the Facebook-free world of Westeros, we have a tendency to solely ought to see a couple of individuals react to the kingdom-changing news, whereas others remained blissfully unaware.
But wherever "Mhysa" did stand tall was in its commit to give the sport of Thrones version of a contented ending. do not get Pine Tree State wrong, each character during this story—and particularly the orphan, innocent children—is doomed to measure a lifetime of suffering and pain whereas the scheming highborns sip wine in castles, as a result of we have a tendency to square measure conjointly St. George R.R. Martin's punching bag. however many characters practised pretty substantial victories in "Mhysa," though they weren't ideal. Dany conquered a town and adopted a bunch of recent "children" (all of whom want a shower ASAP), Bran and his gang finally created it past the Wall (right into the teeth of the White Walkers), Jon came back to Castle Black (and even brought a couple of arrows!), Theon's member came back home to the Iron Islands (at least it required a box of respectable size), Davos place his reading lessons to smart use (though he had to be saved by his BFF's wench girlfriend), and ninety five p.c of Jaime reunited together with his sister-lover (though Cersei did not specifically seem of her chair in excitement). Hey, it is a step within the right direction when the slaughter of a bunch of your favorite characters in an exceedingly matter of minutes! (Kidding, Catelyn was no one's favorite character.)
So with this season closed, let's shake some sausage and discuss what happened within the finale.


"The next time you are going to try and do one thing like that, tell Pine Tree State first!" —The Hound
Just just in case you forgot, "Mhysa" began with a slap within the face by reminding everybody simply however badly the Starks got f*cked over. Not gonna lie, once Roose Bolton appeared on the screen I stood up, booed, and threw rotten tomatoes at the TV. per week later and that i still expertise feelings of cutthroat rage at the sight of his ugly mug. cannot we have a tendency to be finished this pain, Game of Thrones? keep in mind after you accustomed show United States direwolf puppies? currently we're observance members of the Stark kindred die in droves. Oh, and Greywind's head on Robb Stark's body? certain why not? yea, we wanted to visualize that. Poor Arya did not, though, thus after all she got a front row seat for it!
But that was all set-up for one among the most effective scenes within the episode. Arya has invariably been our avatar during this world, reacting and responding with the type of offhanded feeling that we have a tendency to feel as viewers. And whereas eavesdropping on a braggart from Frey's camp as he performed a uproarious impression of Catelyn observance her eldest son die so self-praise concerning the Frankenstein'd man-wolf creation he claimed to've helped produce, Arya compete the sweet young hungry lady, lured the Freyr guy into a false sense of security, so endearingly injured the person within the arteria carotis. will Arya get any better? Nope, she can't. you recognize those characters in movies and television WHO you shout at, egging them on to try and do one thing vicious and cruel as a result of your emotions square measure running thus high {that you|that you simply|that you simply} just have to be compelled to see blood RIGHT NOW? That was Arya during this scene, and for once, a personality listened. And keep in mind those sorta happy endings i discussed above? This was Arya's, shanking a no one simply because it felt smart.
It was a decent half-plan on her half, however a bit shortsighted once it came to the opposite 3 dudes. Thankfully, the Hound did his issue and took care of the opposite goons, however return on, that was pretty rude on Arya's half. Anyway, the Starks and also the Freys square measure even currently, right?





"Is that dangerous poetry, or is that imagined to mean something?" —Tyrion Lannister
Apparently girl Sansa is definitely won over: All you've got to try and do to win her affectionateness isn't rape her on her wedding day! Sansa and Tyrion were obtaining on smoothly and boy hullo was that a relief. For all the flack Sansa gets for being a prissy blue blood, generally she's AN absolute doll. And yes, her suggestion to prank people who guffawed at Tyrion's wedding circus by stitching sheep shit into their mattresses qualified together of these times. Sansa could be a back-and-forth characters WHO you cannot firmly take a stance on as a result of she's everywhere the place; she'll do one thing like lie around Nymeria and Joffrey's assault on Micah, then again she'll earn our sympathy as a result of she's a willful captive during this game of thrones, so she'll win United States over with verbalise a bed jam-packed with dung. Wasn't it nice to visualize Sansa smile for once, and wasn't it nice to visualize that Tyrion's kindness clearly had one thing to try and do with it? This wedding is destined for excellent things!
Or maybe not. Word of Robb's death ravened its manner into King's Landing, and nobody was happier than Robert Joffrey, King of the Inbreds. Joff planned to serve Robb's head to Sansa at his own wedding feast, which might be worse than nonflavored oatmeal however slightly higher than AN Edible Arrangement. What I liked  concerning this little Council scene was however everybody turned on Robert Joffrey along, throwing him into a ill temper. Tywin even same the king was bad-tempered as a result of he was tired, and suggested that Joff catch a nap and drink some sleepytime juice. These square measure the forms of stuff you say a couple of tiddler, and perhaps not even to a toddler's face—yet here were Tywin and Cersei and Tyrion reprehension Robert Joffrey as if he required a diaper modification. it absolutely was thus great! Game of Thrones has done fantastic things with the dynamic between Robert Joffrey and also the remainder of his family, straddling the road between creating him mightily powerful and simply techy, and this scene ordered everything out absolutely. The crazy issue is that Robert Joffrey might have Tyrion's tongue ripped out at a moment's notice, however he will not do this as a result of he is aware of that his place within the family supersedes his place within the kingdom. however what is going to happen once Robert Joffrey goes through his full-on young  rebellious phase? it's going to be Mad King spherical 2, and that is why Tywin must get the maximum amount done currently, whereas he still will. Fun, entertaining  stuff. and perhaps we must always say a replacement show prima Jack Gleeson and Charles Dance as mismatched roommates, as a result of they are nice along.

Also of note: Tyrion's ablaze defense of Sansa. it absolutely was borderline romantic! With Sansa warming up to Tyrion and Tyrion stanchly defensive his kid bride within the face of the angry boy-king, perhaps their wedding will truly work! aside from the actual fact that Tyrion's family slaughtered Sansa's oldsters. Shame on Pine Tree State, for a second I nearly forgot we have a tendency to were talking concerning Game of Thrones, wherever "Stark" is simply another word for "ill-fated." All that positive progress for Sansa wiped away by news from the Twins.
Varys tried to drag a lot of strings by asking Shae to depart King's Landing changed for a few major compensation (I'd eat for that Kickstarter, let Pine Tree State tell you). Varys needs her out as a result of she's a distraction to Tyrion, and Tyrion is that the realm's last hope. Shae suspected that it absolutely was Tyrion WHO needed her gone, that might be true however i do not assume truly is. Also, I even have to decision sheepshit on Shae's claim that she loves Sansa and would kill for her. I simply do not see it. however that is partially as a result of i actually contemn Shae—I assume she's a terrible character WHO simply whines all the time—so i will jump at the possibility to poop on her. And therefore i can not be trusty for AN unbiased opinion on something Shae-related; if she force Pine Tree State out of a burning building i might do all I might to shove her back in.
Finally, before we have a tendency to leave King's Landing I suppose I ought to conjointly mention the anti-climactic reunion between Jaime and Cersei. Is it Pine Tree State or ought to a reunion between 2 nice character/siblings/lovers in an exceedingly season finale not finish with them simply gazing every other? perhaps i used to be over-anticipating this. currently I even have to attend 9 months to listen to her say, "What happened to your hand?"



"We did not build five hundred miles of ice wall 700 feet high to stay out men." —Samwell Tarley
You can simply argue that at the instant, nothing else on Game of Thrones matters quite Samwell's story. The White Walkers, they be a-coming! And WHO woulda sound that the fat child we have a tendency to accustomed throw rocks at would be the key to informing the planet of the threat and teaching everybody a way to defend themselves?
But first, he had to send Bran on his manner north of the Wall—with a stash of White Walker B-Gone a.k.a. Dragonglass—after another one among Bran's miraculous meetups with alternative characters from the books. Admittedly, Bran's plot went back to being boring when last week's explosion of diversion once he mind-controlled some direwolves. does not this show have a lot of vital things to try and do than tell United States ghost stories concerning the haunted spirit of a chef? affirmative, we have a tendency to were reminded of the Westerosi policy of "No killing guests beneath your own roof, the Gods do not forgive that" at the side of a sweet move Walder Freyr, however besides that one fitting transition, some details square measure in all probability best left to the books. particularly if the show goes to decide on mundane chatter over the book-exclusive secret-word ceremony that SAM had to perform to induce Bran through the Wall. Unless the Rat Cook is real, then ne'er mind I same that.
Jon, meanwhile, suddenly met his ex—and boy, was it awkward. Oopsie! He had to admit to Ygritte's face that he'd been lying right along concerning departure the crows, however he was telling the reality concerning his love for her. "I do recognize some things. i do know i really like you," he said, that i will be able to entirely be victimisation word for word ensuing time I apologize to my partner. that is ought to be awfully confusing for a lady. Am I the sole one WHO questioned why he did not do the classic "Come with meeeee!" thing? unremarkably i am adverse to it type of figure of speech, however this is often Ygritte we're talking about! The additional Jon gets from her, the less probably it's that we'll get to hold out together with her. what's the show aiming to do, follow Ygritte around together with her wildling friends? i do not assume thus. a minimum of throw the choice out there, Jon. you do not tell somebody you like them so "Smell you later!" within the same sentence. Grab her, throw her over your shoulder, so screw to her on prime of the horse all the manner back to Castle Black. that is however you savvy done. you recognize nothing, Jon Snow! Instead, you took home a couple of souvenir arrows. (Did any of you non-book-readers have mini heart attacks once she shot him? might you imagine if Robb and Jon died in consecutive episodes? women would be throwing themselves off bridges.)
Back at Castle Black, Samwell gave Maester Aemon (the better of all Maesters) the transfer on the WW scenario and delivered a fine speech concerning WHO the $64000 threat is, language that every one thawed men should be protected. tho' it's going to appear innocuous, this could find yourself being one among the foremost vital scenes of the series. Aemon's response was to send the complete flock of ravens to each lord and girl within the kingdom, to beg for his or her attention and facilitate in stopping the White Walkers. All the ravens? that is an enormous commitment! that is like expenditure all of your telephone minutes quickly, that is however vital it is! currently Game of Thrones can doubtless see its focus shift from battling for a chair to stopping a horde of blue-eyed, dead-man-shaped moving popsicles. And it's all thanks to porky SAM.


"See, Ser Davos? you have been saved by that fireside god you prefer to mock. you are his army currently." —Stannis Baratheon
One downside Game of Thrones sweet-faced this season was determining a way to create Stannis relevant once more, which wasn't aiming to happen while not some type of miraculous intervention. And before that might happen, the Gendry-Melisandre sidebar had to be resolved. i am undecided the "Melisandre needs Gendry's juice to solid spells" issue worked likewise as David Benioff and D.B. Weiss hoped it might (as way as i do know it wasn't a part of the book, however maybe somebody else will correct Pine Tree State... maybe you, @seven_hells?), and even as it absolutely was obtaining somewhat fascinating, it absolutely was over by Davos causing Gendry away on a little boat. Yes, Melisandre might still rummage around for him with the hearth gods guiding her, however Melisandre finding out Gendry once more would be the show continuance itself, and that is one thing Game of Thrones doesn't want unless it's simply stall till Martin finishes the books. As of currently it's good-bye to Gendry which plot, and we've been left inquisitive what the purpose extremely was beside casting a hex on Robb, Joffrey, and Balon. it absolutely was in all probability simply to stay Stannis within the image somehow, I guess?
ANYWAY, that is not vital. what is vital is that Dragonstone got some sun! Did you see that? It wasn't simply darkness and gray skies! ne'er thought i might see the day. Oh, conjointly vital was that Stannis received Aemon's involve facilitate through Davos, and even Melisandre was like, "Screw the chair and people 5 bicker kings! this is often the $64000 war! Death marches on the Wall, solely you'll be able to stop them." whether or not that is Mel seeing a chance for Stannis to induce into the limelight by saving the dominion, or whether or not she truly believes it is the right issue to try and do could be a totally different question. however either manner, P-whipped Stannis goes to try and do what she says and kick some White Walker butt... and standing at his aspect are going to be Davos, WHO went from being meat on the block to commander of Stannis's army in concerning thirty seconds. i do not comprehend you, however this has Pine Tree State EXCITED. hearth shall meet ice!



"My mother schooled Pine Tree State to not throw stones at cripples. however my father told Pine Tree State to aim for his or her heads." —Ramsay Snow
As expected by the book-readers within the crowd, the mystery "boy" WHO was torturing Theon was Ramsay Snow, Roose Bolton's bastard... stress on the bastard. His sausage snacking and {talk of|talk concerning|talk|speak|utter|mouth|verbalize|verbalise} phantom limbs whereas Theon adorned  there dick-less was about as mean because it gets, and that i idolized it. Ramsay's a complete knob, however he is AN entertaining  knob and Iwan Rheon is killing it within the role.
All of Theon's appearances in Season three might are summarized in an exceedingly 30-second clip and you'd still assume it went on too long, however things finally displayed with a mail to Balon Greyjoy. i feel the Lonely Island dudes and Justin Timberlake did a song concerning this? "Leave the north currently, or a lot of boxes can follow with a lot of Theon. XOXOXO, Ramsay," the note same. Balon did not care as a result of Theon now not had the pen with that he was imagined to write down ensuing generation of the Greyjoy line, however Asha Yara did, and now began collection a fleet to require down Bolton HQ at the Dreadfort. And you recognize what? i feel right concerning currently we have a tendency to all would not mind seeing Yara run down Roose Bolton and every one his spawn and introduce them to the sunken  God with a couple of lungfuls of brine. Anyway, a lot of set-up for Season four between 2 terribly minor characters that's suddenly terribly interesting! perhaps Yara will stop at the Twins and kill a couple of hundred Freys whereas she's at it?


"Mhysa!!!" —a bunch of dirty individuals
I want I might be a bit a lot of positive concerning Dany's final scene, however once the foremost exciting a part of it absolutely was the amount of extras/copy-and-paste CGI the show managed to wrangle along in one spot, I simply cannot say it left a similar awe-inspiring style in my mouth that Dany rising from a fireplace naked with dragons or SAM gazing a military of undead troopers and alternative creepy crawlies did. This was the scene we're imagined to suffer till next Gregorian calendar month (probably), and it absolutely was a bunch of freed slaves hoisting Dany up like she'd simply pitched a bit League baseball. and do not they assert something apart from "Mhysa?" square measure they a bunch of Jar-Jar Binks impersonators?
Dear readers, do not hate Pine Tree State for this, however that ending was the cheesiest issue this terribly mature series has done since we have a tendency to initial met the Stark kids slacking within the pilot. and also the intonation music that went with it? No thanks! I practised a variety of emotions throughout the scene, and "enjoyment" wasn't one among them. Visually striking? certain. however it absolutely was conjointly a bit tangential to the "a bunch of White Walkers square measure returning to murder everyone!" revelation that preceded it, which perceived to unite individuals and places along. i really like Dany, extremely I do. She's a sweetheart. however this wasn't the high-oomph ending I had hoped for.

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